Doubting

            I’ve had my moments. And by moments I mean the type that find myself questioning what I believe and why I believe it. I've questioned God and his creation, I've questioned why life works the way it does, and why it can be so unfair. I've questioned love of others, I've questioned my life path, decisions I’ve made, and the time I've spent helping others. I've wondered if my faith is sufficient, if I serve well, if I’ll do well in life.

            Someone in my life has been undergoing great torment for his own inquiring, for his time of walking away from his faith and questioning what he believes.  People making statements at him now that he’s returned, subjecting him to questioning about where he stands in life, and does he feel ashamed. I must say it’s times like these that I find myself greatly angered at the actions of my fellow Christians.

            Is it logical to chase someone away whom has returned from their searching? Is it defendable to ensure that the person feels guilty for their time of question?

            No. I say no. I say that in all our humanness, we’ve all had our questioning, rather outward or inward. The persecution of those who voice their questions are honest individuals living from a place of vulnerability and truth of heart. It takes great courage to question the foundations of ones faith, and voice those questions to family and friends.

            With a hug, and some tears, I welcomed him home. I don’t need to know every detail of why, where, and what happened. All I need is to know that my friend, who is often more like a brother, has returned home.

            People doubt, question, walk away… its part of being in a depraved world of hurt and pain. I don’t think it’s our job to increase the pain of those who have returned from their time of question. Measuring the grace that God gives each of us to function daily is beyond comprehension of any human, but yet many of us are so quick to hold our own grace from others.

“Jesus, Jesus, there are those that say they love you, but they have treated me so god damn mean. And I know you’ve said forgive them for they know not what they do, but sometimes I think they do, and I think about you”

- Noah Gunderson