My Humanity

A man of white privilege, a citizen of a nation built on the backs of minorities. I am the face of a race that has put billions in their place. Not just a white, but also a man. I am injustice by being born, from insurance coverage that allowed my birth, to the jobs my parents held. Given by the policies of my forefathers, my own success is the result of racism, oppression, and privilege.

A mental health professional, a social agent of change, I’m giving my privilege away. It’s time for drastic measures to fight for my people, to make what has been made inhuman, human. I can’t be blind to the depths of inequality in this land. 17, a number that hasn’t left my mind for the entirety of this day. I passed 17 homeless people on my way to work this morning, not begging, not drug dealing, but sleeping on the train, in the doorway, in the gutter. People struggling with mental illness that never receive treatment. Politicians who dare call the elderly, the mentally ill, the disabled, lazy; taking the sacred scriptures of my faith and using it to justify their atrocities against humanity, my humanity. As churches build million dollar sanctuaries, recreation centers, and coffee shops, pouring billions into the coffers of lobbyists for political action against gay marriage and abortion. It’s all a little embarrassing. 

Something is simmering within my profession, the lines are uniting, the injustices coming to daylight.

My job isn’t about patients or cases, these are people, my humanity, your humanity, and they deserve the right to be treated as such. We are nothing without each other, criminal or not, disabled or able-bodied, homosexual or heterosexual, woman or man, minority or majority, Muslim or Christian, agnostic or atheist.

The filters through which we view people must be taken down, to first see the person; only then can we begin to comprehend anything about anyone. It’s time to stop treating humanity as a concept.

“Jesus, friend of sinners, open my eyes to the world at the end of my pointing fingers. Let my heart be led by mercy, helping me reach with open arms and open doors. Jesus, friend of sinners, continually breaking my heart for what breaks yours.”

And this surely does break my heart, every moment of everyday, driving me forward with greater purpose. I will not rest. 

London

The tingling goose bumps that rise on my skin as I think about how mystical, how serendipitous, my life is at times. I sit in reflection of a week spent in London, a place I never dreamed of loving, but yet finding it hard to leave. The people who have shown unconditional kindness, dedicating time, and the sharing of their stories has touched my heart in profound ways, ways I believe won’t allow me to live the same once I return to New York.

Monday evening I phoned a good friend back in the U.S. asking the same question that comes every time I take risks within my life. “What purpose do I subject myself to such vulnerability, why do I choose the more difficult road when the easiest of paths is looking me in the face?” She always gives the same answer, “your life is beautifully lived, spontaneously, with purpose and meaning that not even you yourself understand. We all expect great things from you Mr. Pokorski, and you often deliver in unexpected ways that are beyond expectation. Not without fault, but always with resilience, power, deep love, empathy, and greater ability to understand humanity. Your life has purpose, and every decision you make seems to fit into a larger story than yourself. So live your life, share your stories, love ever deeper, and do it for us, as you do what we, those who deeply love you, can not.”

How is it that a spontaneous mistake of malfunctioning technology over a year ago (leading to the meeting of someone in the UK, while in Chicago) would have extreme effects on this trip? Hours after landing, I found myself amongst a group of New Yorkers’ Brits’ and others, having an incredible night out. Meeting American friends as they flew in, sharing stories of times passed and present. The celebration of a new friend’s birthday, the spectrum of new and old friends ever present within her party. The afternoon spent with a new friend who graciously walked me all around London, sharing her life stories and opinions. Meeting the man who never should have existed within my life, leading to a great dinner, political discussion, and an incredible tour of London while it rained, finishing up at British pub.

Learning from each individual as they came and went within my trip, each with their own personality and life experience. I listened carefully, attempted to learn as much as possible, seeking to put the puzzle of interconnected life together, seeing the beauty within humanity as we all move, feel, and breathe.

There is meaning in everything, a purpose unseen. My daily fight against anxiousness and fear is ever waging, but my soul wants to be brave, to share my story with courage, to take risks and live boldly. I have accepted that I will never live an easy life, but that I stand to gain much more from the one I’ve been given.

The Sun is Rising

Becoming Whole

          Being embraced, feeling my tears fall, lessening my grip, still being held tightly, the tears of my professor hitting the back of my neck. I stayed late tonight, for the purpose of speaking to someone that has opened windows into my soul. Learning deep concepts of my own flaws and insecurities, I have become more whole. Living a life where I find myself paralyzed in moments of attempting to gather, “is this really my life?”

          My days are encircled by these moments of learning, confronted with opportunities that few individuals will ever receive. I find myself humbled greatly by what I’ve been given; those who have helped me arrive here, and the continued propelling love from individuals who walk with me.

          Reaching a pinnacle, the ability to give up shame, and become vulnerable, to move from a place of certainty, to uncertainty. I share my ever-growing story more boldly. Declaring loudly, I am not illegible, I am not invisible, I have something to offer the world.

I am healing.

We are healing.
The world is healing.