New York at a moment's notice

The four walls of my white dorm room captured my soul, holding it for ransom. My life was dry, my emotions stale, and my day to day had become paper to paper, chore to chore, person to person, without much excitement for anything. “How did I reach this point?” I questioned myself sitting at my lonely desk covered in paperwork and passed assignments.

My computer before me, I navigated the internet to different airline sites, pondering what it would cost to get out of here, to take back some control of my life, even for a moment. NYC, $200, leaving at 9:00 PM, it was already 6:00. My hand navigated to the purchase button and hesitated for a moment, I have no plans, I have no place to stay,” I have no idea what I’m doing.” Purchase. I flew around my room collecting articles of clothing, my laptop, a book to read, IPod. I was out the door, into the street, and in a taxi within 20 minutes.

The lights of O’Hare airport reached out to me like a beacon of hope. I was ready, I wasn’t scared, nervous, or anxious, I was determined. Thoughts raced through my head that I didn’t care if I had to be homeless, I was going to explore New York, I was going to marvel at something, I was going to breathe, and have no plans.

Seating section two was called and I boarded the plane with a smile a mile wide. I settled in for the takeoff and long flight ahead. The two people sitting on either side of me looked intent on their business with the man on his laptop, and the woman buried in a book that had to be 2,000 pages long entitled neurophysiology (what a buzz kill). So being the 20 year old college student that I am, I settled back with my IPod on full blast with a good book.

Little did I know what unfathomable events that lay before. The woman sitting on my left began to show some signs of extreme discomfort, so I offered her some of my space and my tray to spread out since I wasn’t using it. “Why are you coming to New York?” she asked. I replied with I had a bad week at school, I bought a ticket on impulse, I’m going to see the sights and marvel at life. One thing led to another and she began asking where I was going to stay, I explained that I had done a little research on a hostel and probably was getting a hotel room for the night. “No, you’re staying at my place, I have an open bedroom, and you’re more than welcome.” My mouth hit the floor, I tried to refuse but she wouldn’t have any of it. Our conversation continued until the plane landed and before I knew it, we were in her car, meeting her husband, and on our way to pick up their daughter. I explained where I was attending school, which sparked a conversation about religion, which lead them telling me that they were Jewish. That’s when it hit me, I came to New York, to find control of my life, and low and behold, I wasn’t in control at all, God had the plan, God had planted the idea, and this was all in his hands.

We spent that first night in deep conversations of life, God, and spirituality. I went to bed with the world spinning; my mind was in utter disbelief. I was in a brownstone, on the upper east side of Manhattan, four blocks from Central Park, with people I didn’t even know, but now felt like family. I laid in awe of the situation and reflected on the night’s conversations and events as I drifted to sleep.

The next two days would be wholly spent exploring, encountering, and living life to its fullest potential. My first stop was Times Square, where I marveled at the hugeness of humanities creation of a large city, gritty and beautiful stretching in all directions as I raised my hands in my own little moment. Grand central station and the Guggenheim followed.

Visiting the World Trade Center site was something to forever be remembered. I found symbolism in my own life with that location where a new tower is forming over the city. Anger and pain in my own life that I didn’t even know was still inside, from past events and situations came pouring out. I found a Starbucks two blocks away and poured my thoughts and feelings into napkins, writing out things I needed to let go of. The towers fell and a crater was left, but now there is rebuilding and a new more beautiful tower in the craters place. I threw the negativity away; I threw away my hurt that night, my anger, and sadness.

I finished my trip with an afternoon spent in Central Park; marveling at nature and the peace that was found in the center of such a large place. I thought of presents to bring home to friends and family that would be more meaningful then just a memento of my trip. I looked down around me at all the bright golden leaves that were freshly falling from the trees all around. I picked several up and stuffed them inside my journal to hand out as I told the story of my travels.

New York was raw. That city taught me things about myself I didn’t want to know. I encountered parts of me that I didn’t want to confront. I went with no plans and found that God had all the plans. I went to marvel, breathe, and have a change of location. I came back with the realization that the whole trip was so much more. It was painful, happy, hurtful, and impulsive. I loved it and hated it all in the same sentence. I came back with vigor, a new outlook, refreshed, and alive.

What’s the point of me telling you this story? Go live your life; don’t get stuck in the day to day, paper to paper, and chore to chore. Get stuck in the dreams, the relentless wants, the hunger for life lived more abundantly. Capture moments, take advantage of the divine encounters. Focus on the important while letting your fears go. Don’t worry about failure, be ready to succeed.

This is all much easier said than done, but if it’s not practiced then you can’t expect much to happen, can you? What you put into this life is what you get back. If you live venerably, openly, and full heartedly, yes pain will come, but with that pain will come times of great joy, peace, and happiness.
Take a trip on impulse; you never know what you might find.

Jeremiah 29:11
For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

I Danced

.
It was warm, dark, and a slightly rainy evening. Sitting at my computer with the window open I heard the sounds of the bustling city bellow my 12th story window. My stomach yearned for a snack of healthy organic freshness; Whole foods grocery store called to me like a lion in the middle of the African Savanna. I shut my laptop, grabbed my infamous Moody ID card, and headed downstairs.

As the doors opened and the soothing night air touched my bare skin, the freshness and beauty of the night overwhelmed me. I walked into the middle of the plaza as the rain began to come down in large droplets on my face. I looked up and raised my hands in my own personal worship session to the maker of the universe who I felt a divine connection with in that moment. After a brief moment of silence and praise, I moved forward. In my outfit not prepared for rain of such magnitude, I became soaked quickly. I smiled wider as every last warm drop of water hit my uncovered skin. Taxi’s honked, buses passed, but I deliberately stayed in the downpour.

Emotion enveloped me, prayers began to poor. Praise and past pain escaped my lips in jumbled words and phrases. Tears of joy and peace captivated my heart. I could feel Him as if he was standing physically in front of me, an encounter of extremes that I never experienced in such a way.

I entered Whole Foods, dripping from head to toe, ignoring the glaring looks of others as I passed through the produce section grabbing colorful fruits and veggies for my late night snack. Crossing the cash register, bidding goodnight to the sleepy looking checker, but not before making her giggle with a story of how sometimes you just have to play in the rain. I was anxious to enter the warm rainy night once again.

I exited the store and danced. I danced into the night of Chicago lights and sounds, a melody within my heart that had been put on full blasted which couldn’t be ignored.



Life should never become too structured for moments like dancing in the rain. Celebrations should be a daily occurrence. If you lose sight of the simple breath taking moments in life, you give into the negative, the bad, and the overwhelmingly painful. Take advantage of random moments of talking with strangers, random dancing, and midnight snacks. Sing in the car, on the freeway, with the windows down so that every passing car glares at you. Stop in a park and find that old man who paints and plead with him to share stories of yesterday. Volunteer at that children’s club down the street and learn about what pain means to them. Spend time in nursing home, and let an elderly woman change your life.

Share your love for Christ with people in the ways that he has revealed himself to you. A dancer doesn’t share the love of Christ the same way as a pastor, and a pastor doesn’t share the love of Christ the same way as a school teacher. A dancer dances for Christ and a pastor preaches for Christ. The action is different, but the love, the same. Sharing the love of Christ is a celebration, don’t get lost in the structure of everyday life.

Write your day in pencil, because pen is just too permanent.

I LOVE ICE CREAM

I LOVE ice cream. I like singing at the top of my lungs to songs that make my heart sing. I love reading books while listening to piano music, lying on my stomach, with my legs crossed in the air, with candles and tons of junk food around me. I love yoga, ballet, musicals, fashion, and extreme amounts of coffee. I adore laying in sand, city in the background, waves crashing, praying with one of the most amazing friends God has graciously brought into my life. I have dreams of teaching children, traveling to Africa, praying with the broken, seeing my friends come to Christ, growing in relationship with my heavenly father, and pleasing him with my life.

I’m exactly who God has made me to be, I’m Steven Pokorski. I’m not my school, my job, my homework, my friends, or who any human being tells me I am. I am only the person that God has created me to be. If I tried to be someone else, it would be measured up to dressing up like Oprah Winfrey, four months after Halloween, and acting like nothing was out of place.


I’m not sorry that I love chick flicks, reading books like Cold Tangerines, and drinking coffee at a hole in the wall coffee place, with a group of girls, until 2 A.M. I’m not sorry that some of the joy God has placed in my soul comes from teaching a children’s choir, and dreaming about sharing his word as a 4th grade teacher.

I am who God tells me . I am who God has created me to be. If what I’m doing aligns with God’s Word, if it leads me in paths of righteousness and wisdom without hindrance to my relationship with my heavenly Father, you bet your britches it’s not going to change.

The best person you will ever know how to be, is you. God didn’t create you to be the next Barack Obama, Oprah Winfrey, or Shaquille O'Neal. He created you to be who he says you are. If that means you love to do things that don’t
fit the normal or the typical, praise God, he added a little spice when you came into the casserole of culture and personality within the body of Christ.

REFUSE to be anyone else, embrace who God has created you to be.

So with all you are and have been created to be, be brave, be bold, in who you are.



Psalms 139

1 O LORD, you have searched me
and you know me.
2 You know when I sit and when I rise;
you perceive my thoughts from afar.
3 You discern my going out and my lying down;
you are familiar with all my ways.
4 Before a word is on my tongue
you know it completely, O LORD.
5 You hem me in—behind and before;
you have laid your hand upon me.
6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
too lofty for me to attain.
7 Where can I go from your Spirit?
Where can I flee from your presence?
8 If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
if I make my bed in the depths, [a] you are there.
9 If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
if I settle on the far side of the sea,
10 even there your hand will guide me,
your right hand will hold me fast.
11 If I say, "Surely the darkness will hide me
and the light become night around me,"
12 even the darkness will not be dark to you;
the night will shine like the day,
for darkness is as light to you.
13 For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother's womb.
14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.
15 My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place.
When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,
16 your eyes saw my unformed body.
All the days ordained for me
were written in your book
before one of them came to be.
17 How precious to [b] me are your thoughts, O God!
How vast is the sum of them!
18 Were I to count them,
they would outnumber the grains of sand.
When I awake,
I am still with you.
19 If only you would slay the wicked, O God!
Away from me, you bloodthirsty men!
20 They speak of you with evil intent;
your adversaries misuse your name.
21 Do I not hate those who hate you, O LORD,
and abhor those who rise up against you?
22 I have nothing but hatred for them;
I count them my enemies.
23 Search me, O God, and know my heart;
test me and know my anxious thoughts.
24 See if there is any offensive way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting.

The comforting voice of Mrs. Freda Iwy storms down the hallway as I walk toward my destination. Little voices chattering, pencils writing, papers shuffling, it’s the first day of club. The small cramped, comfortable classroom stand before as 25 heads turn and go into a furry “Mr. Steve!” is heard all over the second floor of Cabrini Green By The Hand Club for Kids.

“I’m home”, my heart tells me. I sit down with my group and begin working on their daily math assignment as one little boy sneaks behind me, puts his arms around my neck and says “Mr. Steven, I’ve missed you.”

These kids come from Chicago’s worst community. Drug deals, shootings, beatings, child abuse, and broken families are the reality of this Chicago neighborhood. The majority of these children have never been shown true love. They’ve heard the gospel, but no one has lived it out in front of them. Most of their parents don’t want them. They go to bed without being told they’re loved. They are seen but never truly heard.

God loves these kids. I love these kids, and in return, one little boy has expressed love to me.

God loves these children, He sent his son to die for these children, He loves them as far as the east is from the west. These children have true hope, true futures, and the potential to reach whatever dreams God has put inside them. But they may never reach those dreams, if they’re never shown his love.

The Midnight Train

1:03AM

The doors swung open; I crossed the train to an empty seat and slide in. The train departed as I readied myself for the ride home. A man wondering the train confronts me about who the best basketball player is, which led me feeling uncomfortable, shrugging my shoulders, and turning away. The man sitting next to me turned and mentioned that he would have the same reaction if approached by someone this late. Little did I know, this stranger sitting next to me would spend the next 35 minutes spilling out his life. Chicago/State stop passed as his words and tears began to take shape and my heart broke for the man sitting in the seat opposite me. His came, he shook my hand, “thank you for listening, your quiet mannerisms and gentile heart has touched me this evening.” As the man left, I was overtaken with emotion and began to cry out in prayer for the man I had just encountered. I continued to the next stop, crossed the platform, and prepared to head back home.

Little did I know what was in store.

1:47AM

The train doors parted. Two women appeared in the seats across from the doors, one passed out in her own vomit, the other desperately trying to awaken her friend to get off the train. My mind went into action immediately. My EMT training immediately kicked in as I saw the girl choking. I flew through to her side positioned her body correctly and began to calm her friend. I offered my help which was accepted graciously after an impromptu introduction of myself. Keeping my hands on the now completely passed out woman's head, a conversation took shape between the coherent woman and I. The conversation immediately was engulfed by tears flowing from my face as this 22 year old woman told me of her eating disorder, drinking habits, and search for purpose in life. She told me of how God must be watching out for them, how they both had encountered death so many times, but somehow they always escaped. Chicago/State approached as I hoisted the unconscious woman around my shoulders and began the walk to their dorm building. As we arrived the unconscious woman’s friend took over, I walked them to the security desk. I said goodnight, and began to turn away when one of the girls grabbed my shoulder, cried into my arm, and said thank you for caring enough to listen, help, and show love to us, we’re so undeserving. “God loves you, I love you, and you do have a purpose in life, it’s found in Christ.”

Even though I didn’t share the gospel with these three individuals, I truly believe God had a purpose for how things played out.

Matt 5:14-16

FrIendship

Friends
The people we count on day by day to be there. They help when were down and keep us in line. They construct our moral character and teach us self confidence. We see them in are daily lives as hero's. I ask you though what impression you leave on people. Take time to look inside yourself and you will find the kind of person you really are. Don't focus on the bad as much as the good in you. You will find that you are a magnificent person that cares somewhere inside of you. I challenge everyone to love deeper, live louder and make steps to be remembered in this lifetime.

Remeber to Love

The Broken World

A poor man sits on a street corner, a soldier taking fire, a child being beat, countries fading away from wars and years of fighting. I love when a natural disaster happens, not because of the destruction, but what it does to humanity. Suddenly after Haiti’s earthquake people rally around each other to save their brothers and sisters in need. They shock us and a vivid reminder of how fragile life is strikes the heart of what it means to be human. In this country, thousands flock to the scene to bring aid, and supplies. I have to ask this question though, Haiti may be in ruins, but why aren’t we so caring for our fellow citizens? This country has a huge problem when 1 in 4 children are now fed by food stamps. The United States of America soon will no longer represent the land of the free, it will represent the land of poverty and bankruptcy unless we act as a generation to change the systems that are breaking this country from the inside out. Ponder that, investigate yourself and wonder, what is this world going to be like for my children? Is there anything I can do to make it more bearable? In pondering this I believe you will find where you stand in the mess of this country.