Seasons of life engulf our years, weeks, months; seasons of learning,
seasons of family, seasons of friends. The lives we’re given are revolving
doors that push people in and out at staggering rate. The emotional
side-affects of such brutal pairing, and tarring can be heart wrenching. Making
lasting relationships is known to be one of the signs of a truly healthy life,
but not all people in our lives will remain with us. Sometimes individuals
within our lives are the cause of great pains, sometimes people die, sometimes
differences drive individuals apart, and sometimes it’s just the season. This
relational season of my life has been one of letting go.
It’s never
the want of any heart to break ties with some of those who are closest to us,
but a time comes. A time comes when the questions must be asked; what is
healthy? Where does the line of compassion, love, want, and desire to work out
issues, stop? How do you freely give forgiveness, understanding, want, while not
becoming weak, overly vulnerable, and exposed to hurt over and over again?
The answer
I’ve found is when one party decides the issues are no longer worth working
out. If two parties are actively moving toward each other, they can move
mountains within their lives to resolve any relational obstacle that comes. If
one party has continued fight, but the other has given up, there’s nothing left
to be done.
Exiting
with closure should become priority, to draw lines of where you stand, to take
a healthy step back. This process is delicate for the individual taking that
step. It’s important to leave lines open, to not burn bridges; but it’s
important to have a stance of indifference, to announce, “I still care but it
will no longer take up any of my emotional capacity.” To say, “I need to move
forward, with or without you,” while leaving the lines open to say “you can
join me at anytime, when and if you’re ready.”
It’s
important to have self-evaluation, to talk with people both close, and neutral
to the issues. It’s important to think, to self-reflect, to draw good
conclusions of what went wrong, why, and how to learn. It’s even more important
to ask how to love.
So today, I had to took a step back, a step back from two deep
friendships that have both encouraged and ravaged me. While keeping lines open,
knowing that I’ve done everything I can, I will walk into my future knowing
that I gained from loving those individuals. That the time we spent together
was incredibly valuable, that they poured into my life in ways I’ll never
forget. Though, I never saw a day such as this coming, it’s pivotal in moving
forward to say goodbye. The memories I will harbor shall always be heart
warming, for these friendships were beautiful from the day they began, until
the day we parted.
A focus on remembering the good, the wholesome, the beauty,
is important in a world with too much hurt and pain. These relationships had their
share of problems that did ultimately end with a shutting door, but they still
had a season of life, growth, and love. I choose to remember the good.
I encourage you to do the same in your own seasons.
The Sun is Rising
