The four walls of my white dorm room captured my soul, holding it for ransom. My life was dry, my emotions stale, and my day to day had become paper to paper, chore to chore, person to person, without much excitement for anything. “How did I reach this point?” I questioned myself sitting at my lonely desk covered in paperwork and passed assignments.
My computer before me, I navigated the internet to different airline sites, pondering what it would cost to get out of here, to take back some control of my life, even for a moment. NYC, $200, leaving at 9:00 PM, it was already 6:00. My hand navigated to the purchase button and hesitated for a moment, I have no plans, I have no place to stay,” I have no idea what I’m doing.” Purchase. I flew around my room collecting articles of clothing, my laptop, a book to read, IPod. I was out the door, into the street, and in a taxi within 20 minutes.
The lights of O’Hare airport reached out to me like a beacon of hope. I was ready, I wasn’t scared, nervous, or anxious, I was determined. Thoughts raced through my head that I didn’t care if I had to be homeless, I was going to explore New York, I was going to marvel at something, I was going to breathe, and have no plans.
Seating section two was called and I boarded the plane with a smile a mile wide. I settled in for the takeoff and long flight ahead. The two people sitting on either side of me looked intent on their business with the man on his laptop, and the woman buried in a book that had to be 2,000 pages long entitled neurophysiology (what a buzz kill). So being the 20 year old college student that I am, I settled back with my IPod on full blast with a good book.
Little did I know what unfathomable events that lay before. The woman sitting on my left began to show some signs of extreme discomfort, so I offered her some of my space and my tray to spread out since I wasn’t using it. “Why are you coming to New York?” she asked. I replied with I had a bad week at school, I bought a ticket on impulse, I’m going to see the sights and marvel at life. One thing led to another and she began asking where I was going to stay, I explained that I had done a little research on a hostel and probably was getting a hotel room for the night. “No, you’re staying at my place, I have an open bedroom, and you’re more than welcome.” My mouth hit the floor, I tried to refuse but she wouldn’t have any of it. Our conversation continued until the plane landed and before I knew it, we were in her car, meeting her husband, and on our way to pick up their daughter. I explained where I was attending school, which sparked a conversation about religion, which lead them telling me that they were Jewish. That’s when it hit me, I came to New York, to find control of my life, and low and behold, I wasn’t in control at all, God had the plan, God had planted the idea, and this was all in his hands.
We spent that first night in deep conversations of life, God, and spirituality. I went to bed with the world spinning; my mind was in utter disbelief. I was in a brownstone, on the upper east side of Manhattan, four blocks from Central Park, with people I didn’t even know, but now felt like family. I laid in awe of the situation and reflected on the night’s conversations and events as I drifted to sleep.
The next two days would be wholly spent exploring, encountering, and living life to its fullest potential. My first stop was Times Square, where I marveled at the hugeness of humanities creation of a large city, gritty and beautiful stretching in all directions as I raised my hands in my own little moment. Grand central station and the Guggenheim followed.
Visiting the World Trade Center site was something to forever be remembered. I found symbolism in my own life with that location where a new tower is forming over the city. Anger and pain in my own life that I didn’t even know was still inside, from past events and situations came pouring out. I found a Starbucks two blocks away and poured my thoughts and feelings into napkins, writing out things I needed to let go of. The towers fell and a crater was left, but now there is rebuilding and a new more beautiful tower in the craters place. I threw the negativity away; I threw away my hurt that night, my anger, and sadness.
I finished my trip with an afternoon spent in Central Park; marveling at nature and the peace that was found in the center of such a large place. I thought of presents to bring home to friends and family that would be more meaningful then just a memento of my trip. I looked down around me at all the bright golden leaves that were freshly falling from the trees all around. I picked several up and stuffed them inside my journal to hand out as I told the story of my travels.
New York was raw. That city taught me things about myself I didn’t want to know. I encountered parts of me that I didn’t want to confront. I went with no plans and found that God had all the plans. I went to marvel, breathe, and have a change of location. I came back with the realization that the whole trip was so much more. It was painful, happy, hurtful, and impulsive. I loved it and hated it all in the same sentence. I came back with vigor, a new outlook, refreshed, and alive.
What’s the point of me telling you this story? Go live your life; don’t get stuck in the day to day, paper to paper, and chore to chore. Get stuck in the dreams, the relentless wants, the hunger for life lived more abundantly. Capture moments, take advantage of the divine encounters. Focus on the important while letting your fears go. Don’t worry about failure, be ready to succeed.
This is all much easier said than done, but if it’s not practiced then you can’t expect much to happen, can you? What you put into this life is what you get back. If you live venerably, openly, and full heartedly, yes pain will come, but with that pain will come times of great joy, peace, and happiness.
Take a trip on impulse; you never know what you might find.
Jeremiah 29:11
For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
